The First Church of Fuck
I scribbled down some Sunday morning thoughts and present them here:
If there's a new religion to be founded, it needs to be one where the leading teacher/guru/God-man uses swear words.
I'm serious. Fuck all this thee/thou/thine, "celibate" men in frocks, or the idea that God, who gave us all language, winces when he hears the word "titties." Souls are on the line, and this is a far more important cause than something as impermanent as a political campaign or a nation.
Before you shit yourself and gasp, understand that Jesus of Nazareth, Gautama Buddha, and Mohammed (peace be upon him) weren't packaging their messages for the aristocracy or for the political leadership.
They went for the workers. The peasants. The so-called "untouchables."
✝️ "Don't associate with her, rabbi, she's a sex worker. Let them stone her to death."
"LOL ok, bye Felicia!" ✝️
☸ "Don't give salvation to these illiterate farmers, lord, go become an adviser to the royal court!"
"Sounds good, these people are a bucket of deplorables anyway." ☸
☪️ "Leave these wayward Bedouins alone, let them worship the sun and remain ignorant of God."
"Sure thing - they should go back to where they came from anyway." ☪️
🕉 "Krishna, I can't fight this battle."
"Alright, let's go home." 🕉
The worst thing a religious person could do is drive away, for a reason such as disapproving of their dress or language, an earnest seeker.
Maybe if more religious leaders stepped away from their three-car garages and their silver long enough to look at the real world, perhaps they'd feel motivated to take to the pulpit to say...
"Friends, shit is fucked up. Greed has poisoned the world, and just look at this shit: shit's on fire, shit's getting blown up, governments are killing people, we're starving babies on purpose - if [insert preferred religious figure of choice here] were here today, they'd say 'Wow, shit is fucked up,' but they'd also tell you what I'm about to tell you, and that's that no matter what goes on, God doesn't make mistakes, He has your back, and if you put your faith in Him, even if you get blown up tomorrow, you've already won in the game of life.'"
Or something like that.